What Does Bullying in the Workplace Look Like?
Bullying in the workplace can be subtle or overt, but it always leaves a mark. It’s not limited to shouting or humiliation – it can include exclusion, manipulation, and systematic undermining. These behaviours chip away at confidence, productivity, and psychological safety.
Let’s explore some real-world examples that show how bullying can appear in professional settings, and how it especially affects neurodivergent employees who often rely on clarity, fairness, and consistent communication to thrive.
Example A: Undermined and Overlooked
A client found their ideas repeatedly passed off as their manager’s own. They were micromanaged, criticised for small issues, and reminded of any perceived weakness in front of others. The manager refused to approve training or new responsibilities, blocking their career growth.
This kind of behaviour isn’t just unprofessional – it’s gaslighting. When feedback is replaced with control and condescension, confidence erodes.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
Autistic or ADHD employees may rely on clear rules and mutual respect. When boundaries are ignored or rules change without warning, it can trigger anxiety and burnout. Constant correction or criticism also feeds rejection sensitivity, making it harder to advocate for oneself.
Example B: Gossip and Public Belittling
Another employee faced impatient, judgemental behaviour from a colleague who spoke negatively about their abilities to others. The repeated gossip left them self-conscious and doubting their competence. Eventually, they moved roles to escape the situation.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
People who are sensitive to tone or social cues – such as those with Autism or Dyslexia – may find gossip especially painful. They often interpret workplace communication literally, so hearing that others think they “can’t be trusted” can hit hard.
Example C: Exclusion and Avoidance
Some bullying takes the form of strategic avoidance. Meetings are postponed indefinitely, calls ignored, and praise withheld. One employee described feeling “locked out” and reprimanded for speaking up in meetings. They moved teams to start afresh and now feel respected and included.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
Being excluded can amplify feelings of social isolation common among neurodivergent individuals. When feedback loops disappear, so does the sense of belonging – something vital for workplace engagement.
Example D: Gaslighting and “Business Reasons”
A talented professional was told their role was being ended for “business reasons,” even though the company continued recruiting in the same area. Expectations changed constantly, feedback was inconsistent, and the employee was made to feel disposable.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
When justifications don’t align with reality, neurodivergent employees may feel confused or mistrustful. Many value honesty and directness, so when communication feels deceptive, it can lead to disengagement or resignation.
Example E: Deliberate Sabotage
Another individual was told they were “rubbish” and should “go work in a shop.” Their boss set them impossible tasks designed to make them fail, while piling on repetitive admin work. With no meaningful projects or feedback, they left the company.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
For those with strong moral reasoning or fairness values, being deliberately set up to fail can be emotionally devastating. The sense of injustice lingers long after leaving the role.
Example F: Trapped by Success
A woman working far above her grade found others taking credit for her work. She was blocked from seeking opportunities and denied support – simply because her boss didn’t want to lose her as a “cheap and convenient resource.” She left feeling trapped.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
Hyper-competent neurodivergent employees are often exploited – praised privately but kept invisible publicly. Their drive to please or avoid conflict can make it harder to challenge unfair systems.
Example G: Pathologising Difference
One employee was told they needed a psychometric test to “prove” they were fit to work. Their manager avoided building rapport, made them feel abnormal, and suggested they leave because she didn’t know how to “handle” him. He remains wary, feeling held back at his grade.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
This reflects a common bias – when leaders pathologise difference instead of understanding it. Neurodivergent professionals often face suspicion simply for thinking differently. Instead of curiosity, they meet control.
Example H: Blocked from Growth
Another person left before coaching even began. Their manager repeatedly blocked opportunities, undermined them publicly, and refused to support development. Feeling trapped and disrespected, they resigned.
Neurodivergent vulnerability:
Growth and autonomy are vital for motivation. For neurodivergent minds, being blocked from progress can feel like punishment for existing differently.
Why Bullying Hits Neurodivergent Staff Harder
Neurodivergent employees – including those with Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, and other differences – often experience the workplace through a heightened sensory and emotional lens. Bullying can affect them more deeply because:
- They may take words literally, missing sarcasm or subtext and feeling confused by shifting expectations.
- They value fairness and logic, so inconsistent or manipulative behaviour feels intensely wrong.
- They can struggle to self-advocate when anxious or overloaded.
- They may mask distress until burnout forces them to leave.
- They may have past trauma from school or work environments where difference was punished.
A toxic workplace can therefore trigger not just stress, but real trauma – leading to absenteeism, turnover, and long-term health effects.
Five Ways to Manage Workplace Bullying
- Document Everything
Keep a dated record of all concerning interactions. Save emails, screenshots, and meeting notes. Patterns are powerful – they help HR see that this isn’t a one-off incident. - Seek Allies
Find trusted colleagues or mentors who can witness interactions or support you in meetings. Bullies thrive in secrecy; visibility dilutes their power. - Use Formal Channels
Report incidents through HR or your union if available. Be factual and professional, not emotional. A clear, chronological account carries weight. - Prioritise Your Wellbeing
Therapy, coaching, or employee assistance programmes can help you process trauma and build resilience. If your health is suffering, taking leave is not weakness – it’s wisdom. - Reclaim Your Confidence
Bullies often target your strengths. Revisit past achievements, reconnect with people who value your contribution, and remind yourself that their behaviour reflects them, not you.
Building Neuroinclusive Workplaces
Organisations that want to prevent bullying must go beyond reactive HR procedures. They need proactive neuroinclusive cultures that reward curiosity and kindness. Leaders should:
- Model respectful communication.
- Give feedback constructively and consistently.
- Encourage flexible working and psychological safety.
- Provide training on unconscious bias and neurodiversity.
- Create multiple channels for feedback, not just 1-to-1s.
Because when people feel safe, they stay – and when they stay, the organisation thrives.
Final Thoughts
Bullying in the workplace is not just “personality clashes” – it’s a violation of trust and dignity. Neurodivergent individuals often notice and feel this more acutely, not because they’re fragile, but because they’re honest, perceptive, and driven by fairness.
Everyone deserves a workplace where difference isn’t punished but celebrated. When leaders act with empathy, they don’t just prevent bullying – they create environments where innovation, belonging, and wellbeing coexist.
If your organisation wants to make inclusion real, not rhetorical, book a discovery call with Sam at Get Your Message Across.
Together, you’ll turn awareness into action – building workplaces where every kind of mind feels understood, supported, and able to thrive.