Autistic Coping Mechanisms (3 part blog)
Some life skills are rarely taught, and neurotypical people often seem to have them naturally. For those on the Autistic Spectrum (ASD), tips for coping with autistic life include self-awareness and practising coping strategies. These habits can reduce confusion and help you feel more confident in everyday situations.
Remember that your perception of the world is a little different, it just means that your brain works differently. Most people see in greys, not black and white, so they may struggle to understand focused or single-minded behaviour.
There are some books out there with guidance, but I’ve put together my own brief list as not everyone wants to read a book.
Here are some more tips to cope in society when you are Autistic
Feedback –
Asking for feedback is one of the very best ways to become more self-aware and it will help you to tweak any behaviours that don’t quite give you the results you want. Many people are untrained in the art of giving feedback or evaluation so you may need to help them by coaching them.
Tell them what you want to comment on. What did they observe? What was factually correct, what examples can they give, what recommendations do they have for corrective action or improvement? It’s a good idea to coach them to avoid using words like should, must, wrong, bad, awful, difficult, perception, and generalisations. They can’t speak for others and shouldn’t try to, it’s what a lot of people do to take the limelight off them so listen out for “we”…., it should be “I”….. They should just tell you their own personal observations and recommendations from their perspective.
Calendar –
Everyone (neurotypicals or Aspergic alike) will have their own preference for scheduling and controlling their time and routine. Many wrongly believe Autistic people need rigid routines and will meltdown if these are broken. However, you might find comfort in a general framework to your life. Spontaneity and being flexible is a useful attribute to practise if it doesn’t come naturally. Working with someone who never plans and always improvises can create extra work for you. Collaborating closely with them and their manager can help manage this issue. It won’t go away on its own.
You may need plenty of notice for events, even small ones like a family visit. Anything shorter than two weeks might feel too spontaneous. Understand your timescale so you can guide others in planning events. Reminders can help you feel prepared, reducing stress and showing co-operation.
Travelling abroad –
Doing homework is the best way to make your trip smooth and event-free. Some airports offer 360° virtual tours. Shannon Airport, Ireland, provides special caps for Autistic travellers. These help staff be kind, careful, and understanding of any anxieties displayed.
Plan well in advance. Print all documentation and keep copies of important documents safe. Share your itinerary and hotel contact numbers with someone you trust at home. This gives peace of mind and reduces stress while travelling.
I always make a comprehensive list at least a week in advance. This ensures I have time to collect everything together.
Ask questions when visiting new cultures. Misunderstandings happen if assumptions are made about social behaviour.
Getting your message across –
Self-awareness and self-improvement are the keys to unlocking coping techniques that work. Personal development helps you explore your strengths and weaknesses and work on areas you want to improve. Get Your Message Across can help you do this, building your arsenal of skills for life. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is often the only option for people with Asperger’s seeking support. The key is to find something that works for you and that you can trust, and that you believe in. It’s like saying affirmations – you have to believe them otherwise they are pointless.
Remember to read Tips for Coping with Autistic Life #1 and #2 too